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Friday, November 14, 2008

Unrequited Love?

Sometimes the person you're in love with doesn't love you back. Unrequited love is painful: It can even feel like torture.

Then, hows to deal with it?

- Limit the amount of time you spend with the person who doesn't love you. If you can, don't see them for a while.

- Come to terms with the fact that they don't share your romantic feelings. You need to accept that it's just not meant to be so you can move on with your life.

- Try writing a mantra such as "It's time to move on" on a slip of paper and placing it in your jacket pocket. Every time you reach into the pocket, pull out the slip of paper, recite the words in your mind, and put it back into the pocket. This will help reinforce your commitment to getting on with the rest of your life.

- Stay busy. Take up a new hobby such as painting, skateboarding or playing the drums. Join a sports team or work your frustrations out through exercise. It doesn't matter whether it's running, swimming or squash: Find something you like and commit yourself to it. Both your body and your heart will feel better.

- Surround yourself with those who do love you. This could be your parents, grandparents, siblings, other friends or even pets. Don't be afraid to ask them for a little bit of extra moral support.

- Hang around with friends who make you laugh. Chances are, at least one of your friends is brilliant at getting your mind off of the person who's causing you pain. Let them help you not take life too seriously.

- Take some time each day to focus on a few of your good qualities. Remind yourself that you're a great person even if someone out there doesn't like you in a romantic way. Think about what other qualities you'd like to have -- more confidence, better taste in music, better dance skills, etc. -- and set some goals about attaining them.

- Remind yourself that it would not be any fun to be with someone who didn't feel as strongly about you as you did about them. Think about what love should like and notice how equality plays a big part. You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated!

- Remember another emotionally difficult situation you've been through and how you got through it. Adopt some of the strategies you used in that situation to help you heal from this heartbreak.

- Take a little time to nurture yourself, whether it's with a good few good books or movies, some extra time with friends or simply getting a bit more sleep.

- When you're ready, start hanging out with other people you'd consider dating. Give yourself the chance to fall in love again and you undoubtedly will.